This trip has made me keenly aware of the privileges I have. I am one of few who can say that I have grown up in a country with a beautiful Christian heritage, with access to an education, financial freedom to pursue that education, and a supportive and loving family behind me in the process. I have been given intelligence and the ability to excel in classes. I have been given good health and freedom from mental illness. So what? How am I going to steward these gifts and blessings?
Before going to Chad, I was seriously considering not applying to medical school. I was considering at least taking a year off (which isn't bad at all... still considering it in the back of my mind), rethinking the whole medical career. It wasn't until this trip that I realized my true underlying motivations for wanting to back out of something I have been passionate about since I was 5.
I am deathly afraid of failure.
Through this trip, I have realized that I not only have all these privileges, but I have a sovereign God who works for my good, who delights in my work, and who wants me to walk by faith, not by sight. He has given me a passion for medicine, and I am going to trust that He is going to use that passion in me.
So from now on, I'm not going to fear.
I'm not going to do schoolwork half-hearted.
I'm not going to cringe at medical school applications.
I am going to pursue excellence in my classes.
I am going to ask God for wisdom and perseverance, and let Him guide me through the rest of my education.
And I am going to rejoice and thank Him for everything he has given me.
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